Part 1. Are You Under a Dark Cloud?


Do you have a tendency to be negative, to see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full? Do you have dark, pessimistic thoughts? Yes. People who think it’s half-full are delusional psychotics.

3    Are you often worried and anxious? Not anymore

3    Do you have feelings of low self-esteem and lack confidence? Do you easily get to feeling self-critical and guilty? No; yes.

Does your behavior often get a bit, or a lot, obsessive? Is it hard for you to make transitions, to be flexible? Are you a perfectionist, a neatnik, or a control freak? A computer, TV, or work addict? It’s inextricably woven into my personality.

3 __ Do you really dislike the dark weather or have a clear-cut fall/winter depression (SAD)? opposite

  Are you apt to be irritable, impatient, edgy, or angry? yep

Do you tend to be shy or fearful? Do you get nervous or panicky about heights, flying, enclosed spaces, public performance, spiders, snakes, bridges, crowds, leaving the house, or anything else? No; no, not unless it’s a true life-death situation (maybe.)

2 __ Have you had anxiety attacks or panic attacks (your heart races, it’s hard to breathe)? Only physical ones.

2 _?_ Do you get PMS or menopausal moodiness (tears, anger, depression)? Anger? lol

3 Do you hate hot weather?  totally

2 Are you a night owl, or do you often find it hard to get to sleep, even though you want to?

Do you wake up in the night, have restless or light sleep, or wake up too early in the morning?

3 __  Do you routinely like to have sweet or starchy snacks, wine, or marijuana in the afternoons, evenings, or in the middle of the night (but not earlier in the day)? FAT and PROTEIN. And CALORIES.

2 __  Do you find relief from any of the above symptoms through exercise? Quite the contrary

3 Have you had fibromyalgia (unexplained muscle pain) or TMJ (pain, tension, and grinding associated with your jaw)? Over a year ago!

2 __ Have you had suicidal thoughts or plans? Not unless you count, “that car sounds like it’s right behind me.. eh well I can’t really go anywhere, so if it hits me.. oh well…”

Total Score  22   If your score is more than 12 then you are probably experiencing symptoms of low serotonin. Serotonin is an inhibitory neurotransmitter. Depletion of the inhibitory neurotransmitters are the most common cause of depression and anxiety.


Part 2. Are You Suffering from the Blahs?

3_ü_ Do you often feel depressed – the flat, bored, apathetic kind? That’s not a baseline emotion for most humans?

2 _ü_  Are you low on physical or mental energy? Do you feel tired a lot, have to push yourself to exercise? Inability to feel pleasure? YES, YES, No because I don’t ever exercise (unless walking/rushing places a few miles most days of the week counts…) and YES.

2   Is your drive, enthusiasm, and motivation quota on the low side? Things that don’t exist don’t tend to have “sides”

2   Do you have difficulty focusing or concentrating, been diagnosed with ADD? 5 YEARS AGO.

✔  Are you a thrill seeker or risk-taker? Well there was that car…

  Are you easily chilled? Do you have cold hands or feet? When I’m not sweating constantly just because I started to walk someplace

2   Do you tend to put on weight too easily? No, I lose it easily. Walking to wherever to obtain food results in a net caloric intake of 0 ;)

Do you feel the need to get more alert and motivated by consuming a lot of coffee or other “uppers” like sugar, diet soda, ephedra, or cocaine? ♪I love the cocaine! I love the cocaine! ♫♩ :D ha… that’s a yes… to the caffeine… would be to the ephedra too, if it wasn’t so much work to get that…

Total Score   20  If your score is more than 6 points then you are probably experiencing symptoms of low dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. These are excitatory neurotransmitters   Your mom is excitatory ;)


Part 3. Is Stress Your Problem?

3   Do you often feel overworked, pressured, or deadlined? By life…

1 __ Do you have trouble relaxing or loosening up? There’s another way to be?

  Does your body tend to be stiff, uptight, tense? Depends, are you hot?

  Are you easily upset, frustrated, or snappy under stress? In general because functioning is stressful

Are you easily chilled? Do you have cold hands or feet? Answered this already assface

2    Do you tend to put on weight too easily? Your mom

3 Do you often feel overwhelmed or as though you just can’t get it all done? Every waking hour (and possibly in my sleep)

  Do you feel weak or shaky at times? Shaky, more than weak. Probably because when I stand up my heart rate shoots up from about 110BPM to 150, and BP drops from 155/110 to 138/90….

  Have a history of panic attacks or severe anxiety? Why yes indeed I do

Are you sensitive to bright light, noise, or chemical fumes? Do you need to wear dark glasses a lot? Bright light – I made the pages dark grey because it was hurting my eyes trying to fill this form out with white light screaming at my face!! – certain annoying, shitty noises, like this stuff they call music nowadays, that to me sounds a lot more like a shitfestorgy. In fact it sounds indistinguishable from one to my ears. Maybe my ears are dying? lolz

Do you feel significantly worse if you skip meals or go too long without eating? More lightheaded when I stand up, more vision loss, dizziness, legs get all jelly-like… but other than that no.

Do you use tobacco, alcohol, food, or drugs to relax and calm down? Alcohol if I cant sleep at night and no one’s around and I can steal a few whiskey or tequila shots ;) other than that.. have I mentioned the narcotic antidepressants that started this shit in the first place (“this shit” = “fucking up my life”)?

Total Score  25  If your score is more than 8 then you are probably experiencing symptoms of GABA depletion and possibly adrenal fatigue.


Part 4. Are You Too Sensitive to Life’s Pain? You could be suffering from depleted levels of endorphins.

3 ___  Do you consider yourself or do others consider you to be very sensitive? Does emotional pain, or perhaps physical pain, really get to you? No I’m an insensitive asshole bordering on clinical psychopathy combined with autism. I wasn’t born that way, they narcs did it! J

2 ___  Do you tear up or cry easily – for instance, even during TV commercials? Roflmao, people do that? Like people who aren’t institutionalized? Fo-realzies?

2 ___  Do you tend to avoid dealing with painful issues? n/a…

3 ___  Do you find it hard to get over losses or get through grieving? What losses? What grieving? I guess it is kind of hard to get over my loss of emotion – and in turn, my humanity – and to get through the grievance and resentment of the fact my mind was violated by a bunch of arrogant prickheads at such a young age….

3 ü*  Do you use drugs such as methadone, oxycontin, codeine, or other opiates? Essentially. I also have the option of using Tramadol to help with the potential nightmare of withdrawal, a lot like methadone is used in smack-rehabs :D

  Have you been through a great deal of physical or emotional pain? Suffer from chronic back pain or headaches? Indeed; When I was about 8-9 I had some weird bout of occasional, what seemed to be, migraines. Don’t remember if this was before or after the drugs. I was suffering emotional pain until I started losing my ability to feel emotional pain because my tolerance for such is almost as ridiculously high as that for caffeine and amphetamines.

3 ___  Do you crave pleasure, comfort, reward, enjoyment, or numbing from treats like chocolate, bread, wine, romance novels, marijuana, tobacco, or lattes? No… I don’t get any of that, from any of those things… sometimes if I’m hungry and too exhausted to walk someplace I’ll eat a bunch of chocolate though. And sometimes I get lattes as a way of “cutting down” on my caffeine intake (about ½ the content of “straight” coffee.)

Total Score    4   If your score is more than 6 then you are probably experiencing symptoms of endorphin/PEA depletion.

Who on narcotics for over a decade, starting when they were a child, experiences “endorphin depletion”?

◆ counted only half, as a panic attack by definition typically requires one is in a state of panic, which is a psychological state, which is at least as important as the physical aspect.

*again, counted half.

Decided to not count the “PMS” question in an effort to keep the scoring “conservative” and not overestimate; though this does not seem to be very relevant in the end.